redrover: (One does not simply walk into Hogwarts)
The new house over in Baiano came with a Translator. The Translator's name is Philip, or possibly Fillip, or something along those lines. Because I can't figure out how to spell his name (and don't actually know for certain whether his name really is Philip/Phillip/Filip or something more traditionally Italian like Filippo or Francesco), I will refer to him as the Translator.

Cut for length. )
redrover: (Outrun YOU)
This morning at 5 AM, we awoke to find there was no water. After an extensive investigation, it came down to a cold snap and one frozen pipe outside.

As I am from Florida, I have never had to deal with this. Frozen pipes are not my forte. Hurricanes, great. Too much water is better than none. So Mike and I panicked and he went to shower at the new house, traitor that he is. He took the keys.

I got the landlord involved like this:

Me: Carlo, l'aqua non funzo.

Him: Funziona. L'aqua non funziona.

After several attempts, I could not pronounce this word around my chattering teeth, and so instead said an expletive with the same first consonant. I then proceeded to panic MORE.

Me: THE WATER IS NOT WORKIIIIING.

Him, after laughing at me: I call my father; he will fix.

His solution two hours later to this mysterious problem was to take a 1 litre bottle of hot water and pour it over the frozen outside pipe.

Just. 1 litre. Of hot water.

In appropriate "me" fashion, I forgot the rest of my Italian. However, my landlord knows some basic English, so we muddle through when I panic. (For example, the bat incident, which I'll recount another time.) The remaining conversation went like this:

Me: Your water is working?

Him: Si. Mine is okay. I have all the pipes in my house.

Me: *flat look* Okay.

Him, showing me the insulating piece of fabric around the pipe in question: This pipe have this. It help.

...

[Insert some faffing around with the foliage around the pipe.]

...

Me: So does this happen often in Italy?

Him: ...Che?

Me: This. Frozen pipes. In Italia.

Him: Si, in Italia.

Me: The pipes freeze?

Him: Ohhh, no, no. Never. :|

Me: ...So it's just me.

Him: Yes, it just you. :|

...

...

Me: Okay, I have a blow dryer for my hair. Will that work on the pipe?

Him: No. We use the hot water. It will work.

Me: Okay.

Him, after finishing with the hot water in the 1 litre bottle on the pipe.: Okay. Now, we will waiting. Correct? We will waiting?

Me: Sure. I will wait.

Him, seriously: Okay. Wait. I hope for you.

Me: O.o

Despite my reservations about the effectiveness of a 1 litre bottle of semi-hot water, the sinks are now providing a stream, however sluggish, of water.

One more month in this house. One more month.

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Evie

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