This morning at 5 AM, we awoke to find there was no water. After an extensive investigation, it came down to a cold snap and one frozen pipe outside.
As I am from Florida, I have never had to deal with this. Frozen pipes are not my forte. Hurricanes, great. Too much water is better than none. So Mike and I panicked and he went to shower at the new house, traitor that he is. He took the keys.
I got the landlord involved like this:
Me: Carlo, l'aqua non funzo.
Him: Funziona. L'aqua non funziona.
After several attempts, I could not pronounce this word around my chattering teeth, and so instead said an expletive with the same first consonant. I then proceeded to panic MORE.
Me: THE WATER IS NOT WORKIIIIING.
Him, after laughing at me: I call my father; he will fix.
His solution two hours later to this mysterious problem was to take a 1 litre bottle of hot water and pour it over the frozen outside pipe.
Just. 1 litre. Of hot water.
In appropriate "me" fashion, I forgot the rest of my Italian. However, my landlord knows some basic English, so we muddle through when I panic. (For example, the bat incident, which I'll recount another time.) The remaining conversation went like this:
Me: Your water is working?
Him: Si. Mine is okay. I have all the pipes in my house.
Me: *flat look* Okay.
Him, showing me the insulating piece of fabric around the pipe in question: This pipe have this. It help.
[Insert some faffing around with the foliage around the pipe.]
Me: So does this happen often in Italy?
Me: This. Frozen pipes. In Italia.
Him: Si, in Italia.
Me: The pipes freeze?
Him: Ohhh, no, no. Never. :|
Me: ...So it's just me.
Him: Yes, it just you. :|
Me: Okay, I have a blow dryer for my hair. Will that work on the pipe?
Him: No. We use the hot water. It will work.
Him, after finishing with the hot water in the 1 litre bottle on the pipe.: Okay. Now, we will waiting. Correct? We will waiting?
Me: Sure. I will wait.
Him, seriously: Okay. Wait. I hope for you.
Despite my reservations about the effectiveness of a 1 litre bottle of semi-hot water, the sinks are now providing a stream, however sluggish, of water.
One more month in this house. One more month.